Home sick

September 21, 2011 in Notes
Tags: councillimg, family, my mum, sex and the city, summer, therapist

I know it’s LFW but it’s also UCLan freshers week. Which one would you rather be? Actually neither as i’m horrifically home sick.  I love being in my new house with the girlies but I really miss Cornwall, much more than I did last year.I don’t know whether it’s because I had a really good time at M&S this year and I feel shunted out because loads of new people have arrived.

I wasn’t going to post this because, well I didn’t think it had a lot to do with my blog but it’s coming more to light.  Over the summer I had councilling for depression.  The truth is things have never been the same since my Grandpa died last year and since his death my family and I have had to suffer with two more deaths.

I tell people last year was the best yet the worst year of my life.  Pretty much true.  So coming home was really tough.  Back to my home where there is this massive gap.

Before my first year at university, three days before, after everything was bought and packed, I decided I wasn’t going, I was going to stay at M&S and go next year.  I just wanted to be with my family.  As it went, I did go and i’m so glad I did and I only ever felt really home sick when I was drunk.  Now I feel home sick a lot.

I went through a lot with my Mum this summer.  At first we argued nearly everyday and then we were like best friends again.  I mean you can’t be best friends with a parent, I don’t want to be but as close as you can before it’s too much.

If someone said to me, right you can jack it all in and come home, i’d say no.  Appart from not wanting to give up my course I couldn’t leave my friends here.  Most importantly I have a beautiful house with three amazing girls and I don’t want to leave them and I wouldn’t put them in the possition of needed a new housemate.

So we’ve settled that I don’t actually want to go home, so I just miss it a lot? Too much?  The thing with Cornwall is, i’d get home and be bored, it’s not exactly an up and coming place in the Winter, in the Summer too unless it’s sunshining.

So i’m coming up with a plan of action if you will and it doesn’t involve eating my weight in Ben and Jerrys icecream and watching nine hour stints of Jeremy Kyle just to prove there are people having a worse time than me.  No, I have cue cards etc so:

1. Tidy my room
2. Decorate my room
3. Collect my gym card off ex-flatmate/friend
4. Go to the gym

Also, outlining the facts:

1. I love my house 122
2. I love the 122 girlies
3. I don’t want to leave Preston
4. I miss Cornwall
5. I miss my family

I would like to end with a few Sex and the City quotes from one of my favourite episodes. ‘The games people play’. For those of you who don’t know, it’s the episode with Jon Bon Jovi when Carrie goes to see a threapist about Big because she can’t stop talking about him.

Carrie:  First they want you to come there two times a week, then three times a week, and eventually you’re starting every sentence with ‘my therapist.

Stanford: It’s very in to have a threapist.  Even my threapist has a threapist.